Today I am going to have my last date with Anthony. I am so sad. I don't know if I will ever see him again. At least I will have tonight. One more time.
Liz and I want to try to make Roti when we get home. But I know that it will not be as good as Anthony's. No ones will ever be as good as his.
I will miss him and Thailand. 10 hours left here.
07.31.04 (3:41 am)
My last date with Anthony. [edit]
07.30.04 (12:25 am)
What is Anthony's name really? [edit]
Well I found out that Anthony's name really isn't Anthony. His name is Anon. I guess it is not really that much different but ok whatever.
I met some of my friends here in Thailand. Tik, Ornin, Muyoung and P Hut. They took me out to eat last night and I took them to see Anthony or Anon what ever. THat was a fun night.
Well tomorrow is my last day here in Thailand. I am sad and happy about leaving. Leaving means that I get to see my kids, Play the bass in my band and watch Sex and the City.
That's all I have to say.
I met some of my friends here in Thailand. Tik, Ornin, Muyoung and P Hut. They took me out to eat last night and I took them to see Anthony or Anon what ever. THat was a fun night.
Well tomorrow is my last day here in Thailand. I am sad and happy about leaving. Leaving means that I get to see my kids, Play the bass in my band and watch Sex and the City.
That's all I have to say.
07.28.04 (3:50 am)
I cheated on Anthony with another woman! [edit]
So who is Anthony, you might be asking. Anthony is the Roti man. The street vendor who sells roti outside of the Ram Hospital. He is my Roti man. Liz and I have been going to see him most every night we have been here. He makes us the best roti.
Today, I was at the Good News Study Center where I am staying and a roti lady come strolling up with her roti cart. We stop her and I got a roti from her. Her roti was already rolled out and Anthony always does it in front of us so we know that it is fresh. Her roti did not taste as good as his but ok.
Maybe after I leave here he will be out on the street selling his roti. I will back to him. He is way better.
Today, I was at the Good News Study Center where I am staying and a roti lady come strolling up with her roti cart. We stop her and I got a roti from her. Her roti was already rolled out and Anthony always does it in front of us so we know that it is fresh. Her roti did not taste as good as his but ok.
Maybe after I leave here he will be out on the street selling his roti. I will back to him. He is way better.
07.28.04 (12:30 am)
Me in Thailand... [edit]
Well I feel like I haven't really done anything. But that is ok.
I went to see the floating market. That was fun.
The food is great but is the best when you have someone who is from here who can read the menues and they order for you.
I have gotten a few massages and facials and gone shopping for new jeans and t-shirts. Liz and I went shopping for things for our house. That was fun. I still have to go and buy fabric for curtains, pillows and to put around our sink in the bathroom so we can have some storage space in there.
Well that is all I have to say for now. No real adventures. I hope that I get some but if not that is ok too. It is really sad that I miss my kids so much. (Just so you know I don't have any kids that I have birthed but I have about a dozen kids that are in high school that I hang out with and stuff.) But I will see them first thing when I get off the plane.
The first day back will be so full. I get off the plane and I hope that Jamie can pick me up then we will go to church because I told my kids I will play the bass with them when I get back. So yeah church untill about 1:30 then I will chill and make my way to band practice at 3 then when that is done at 6 or so I will go home and make dinner and rest before I go to work at 10:30. I am glad that I can sleep on airplanes. I will watch Sex and the City before work. Then after work I will sleep till 11:30am and get up and go to work at the church at 12 noon till 6 then go straight to Jose's house for worship band practice till 8. Go home and eat then back to work at UPS at 10:30. Crazy. The thought of every day life is kinda scary. Not looking forward to that.
Well enough of my rambling and I hope that you weren't too bored.
I went to see the floating market. That was fun.
The food is great but is the best when you have someone who is from here who can read the menues and they order for you.
I have gotten a few massages and facials and gone shopping for new jeans and t-shirts. Liz and I went shopping for things for our house. That was fun. I still have to go and buy fabric for curtains, pillows and to put around our sink in the bathroom so we can have some storage space in there.
Well that is all I have to say for now. No real adventures. I hope that I get some but if not that is ok too. It is really sad that I miss my kids so much. (Just so you know I don't have any kids that I have birthed but I have about a dozen kids that are in high school that I hang out with and stuff.) But I will see them first thing when I get off the plane.
The first day back will be so full. I get off the plane and I hope that Jamie can pick me up then we will go to church because I told my kids I will play the bass with them when I get back. So yeah church untill about 1:30 then I will chill and make my way to band practice at 3 then when that is done at 6 or so I will go home and make dinner and rest before I go to work at 10:30. I am glad that I can sleep on airplanes. I will watch Sex and the City before work. Then after work I will sleep till 11:30am and get up and go to work at the church at 12 noon till 6 then go straight to Jose's house for worship band practice till 8. Go home and eat then back to work at UPS at 10:30. Crazy. The thought of every day life is kinda scary. Not looking forward to that.
Well enough of my rambling and I hope that you weren't too bored.
07.19.04 (5:20 am)
Made it to Thailand [edit]
I made it to Thailand. already had me an adventure.
I was too cheap to spend the amount of money that they charge for taxi's or Airport buses so I walked out of the airport area and caught a bus there and paid about 25 baht instead of the 650 that they wanted for a taxi or the 100 baht that they wanted for the airport bus. Ok shoot me. I am cheap what can I say. It took me two hours to get to where i was going from the airport.
Tomorrow I pick up Liz.
I was too cheap to spend the amount of money that they charge for taxi's or Airport buses so I walked out of the airport area and caught a bus there and paid about 25 baht instead of the 650 that they wanted for a taxi or the 100 baht that they wanted for the airport bus. Ok shoot me. I am cheap what can I say. It took me two hours to get to where i was going from the airport.
Tomorrow I pick up Liz.
07.17.04 (10:13 pm)
I am addicted to sex! [edit]
Ok, I bet you are wondering how can a virgin be addicted to sex? Well I have to admit that I am not exactly addicted to sex sex. But the TV show Sex in the City. I love this show. I have no idea why I just do. I hardly watch it on regular programming because I am busy at that time but I rent the DVD's at Blockbuster.
My sister called me from California, she is addicted to this show too, to tell me to quit watching. I asked her why? She told me that something happens that might make me depressed. What?! She said that something happens that might remind me of something that happend in my past.
I told her that I am sorry but I can't quit. I will have to deal with whatever happens. Anyways, I don't think that something can make me depressed about that anymore. I am past that.
My sister called me from California, she is addicted to this show too, to tell me to quit watching. I asked her why? She told me that something happens that might make me depressed. What?! She said that something happens that might remind me of something that happend in my past.
I told her that I am sorry but I can't quit. I will have to deal with whatever happens. Anyways, I don't think that something can make me depressed about that anymore. I am past that.
07.15.04 (6:29 pm)
Sex Sex Sex [edit]
I was just wondering if you would come and look.
(sorry I was bored) :lol:
(sorry I was bored) :lol:
07.15.04 (3:34 pm)
Live in the moment! [edit]
What if someone gave you $86,400 everyday. There were no strings attached except that you had to spend every dime of it that day. There is no roll over. You can only spend it that day. But the next day you get $86,400 to spend. Well this is what it is like in life. We are given 86,400 seconds every day and we have to spend them that day. Only one chance to use them. Live those seconds!
How do you live in the moment? You cannot catch the present because it is continually vanishing. So it seems that this makes it very hard to live in the moment. I want to live in the moment. I don't want a second to pass without me taking advantage of it.
You are only given one chance to live each second. You cannot rewind and try again. I know it kinda seems very picky to try to live each second to grieve for lost time. But think about - if you add up all the seconds that you waste each day during your whole life I am sure that we waste away years of our lives.
People always say I wish I would have made more of my life, I wish that I was younger, I wish I had traveled, I wish I had made a difference, I wish I wish. Stop wishing and start living! Start living!! Make something of your life, book a flight and go somewhere, make a difference in someone's life. Go Go Go!
How do you take advantage of each second? I don't know. How do you live in the moment? I don't know. But try!
How do you live in the moment? You cannot catch the present because it is continually vanishing. So it seems that this makes it very hard to live in the moment. I want to live in the moment. I don't want a second to pass without me taking advantage of it.
You are only given one chance to live each second. You cannot rewind and try again. I know it kinda seems very picky to try to live each second to grieve for lost time. But think about - if you add up all the seconds that you waste each day during your whole life I am sure that we waste away years of our lives.
People always say I wish I would have made more of my life, I wish that I was younger, I wish I had traveled, I wish I had made a difference, I wish I wish. Stop wishing and start living! Start living!! Make something of your life, book a flight and go somewhere, make a difference in someone's life. Go Go Go!
How do you take advantage of each second? I don't know. How do you live in the moment? I don't know. But try!
07.14.04 (7:00 pm)
What is religous? [edit]
What does it mean to be religous? If you go to church every sunday and say that you are a christian does that make you religous? What if you go to bible college, does that make you religous? If you don't have sex and don't cuss and don't lie and cheat, does that make you religous?
I have a friend who comes to church with me almost every sunday. He is not a christian. He cannot bring himself to admit to me that he comes to church. He will call up his friends that knew him when he was wild and tell them that he goes to church. Then have me talk to his friends and tell them that he is at church. Then he will get off the phone with them and I will say something about being at church and he will tell me with great passion that he does NOT go to chruch.
This friend of mine says that I am religous. I personally don't think that I am religous. So what? I go to church on sunday and lead a small group of high school kids and am in charge of the worship team. So what if I go to bible college and want to be a missionary when I grow up? What does that have to do with being religous?
To me someone is religous if they are very much by the book. Very strict. You are not allowed to watch rated R movies and listen to mainstream music. You cannot say jeez or shut up or what ever. These religous people in my mind are ones that pretend that they are perfect and have never done anything or do anything wrong. These people look down on people who are not christian or especially people who say they are christian and are not as strict as them.
So my friend thinks that I am religous. Well he goes to church just like me. So that means that he must be religous also. Ok he doesn't go to church seeing as it is held at a community college. So that means that I don't go to church either.
So - what? I don't get it?
I have a friend who comes to church with me almost every sunday. He is not a christian. He cannot bring himself to admit to me that he comes to church. He will call up his friends that knew him when he was wild and tell them that he goes to church. Then have me talk to his friends and tell them that he is at church. Then he will get off the phone with them and I will say something about being at church and he will tell me with great passion that he does NOT go to chruch.
This friend of mine says that I am religous. I personally don't think that I am religous. So what? I go to church on sunday and lead a small group of high school kids and am in charge of the worship team. So what if I go to bible college and want to be a missionary when I grow up? What does that have to do with being religous?
To me someone is religous if they are very much by the book. Very strict. You are not allowed to watch rated R movies and listen to mainstream music. You cannot say jeez or shut up or what ever. These religous people in my mind are ones that pretend that they are perfect and have never done anything or do anything wrong. These people look down on people who are not christian or especially people who say they are christian and are not as strict as them.
So my friend thinks that I am religous. Well he goes to church just like me. So that means that he must be religous also. Ok he doesn't go to church seeing as it is held at a community college. So that means that I don't go to church either.
So - what? I don't get it?
07.09.04 (9:50 pm)
I would rather make it in comedy because I am funny than the quality of my blow jobs! [edit]
I just got off the phone with my brother and he was telling me that he hates the place where he does his stand up comedy.
This place has a class that the owner puts on. If you are in the class then you are guaranteed a slot on the open mic night. Well my brother has been doing this for about a year now and he is really funny. He does a really good job. Since he has started doing this another guy who is about 9 years older than him has come along and he is not funny at all but for some reason the owner likes him.
Three weeks ago another guy who happens to be 9 years older than my brother also has come along and he is not very funny. But he sucks up to the owner and takes him out to eat and who knows what else.
Well the other day this new guy comes up to my brother and tries to give him "advise" and says, "It's not about how funny you are but it's all about who you know. You need to be a kiss ass." My brother tells him that he is a faggot and that he would "Rather make it in comedy because I am funny than the quality of my BJ's!". Ha! After he told me this I couldn't help but laugh for a really long time.
Well these two new guys are touring with the owner of the comedy club and going to bars. Well guess what my brother sent in a tape of his routine to the San Jose Improve and he is now on the list for the 21st of this month. If anyone happens to be in the Bay Area the 21st of July go and see him. He is good.
This place has a class that the owner puts on. If you are in the class then you are guaranteed a slot on the open mic night. Well my brother has been doing this for about a year now and he is really funny. He does a really good job. Since he has started doing this another guy who is about 9 years older than him has come along and he is not funny at all but for some reason the owner likes him.
Three weeks ago another guy who happens to be 9 years older than my brother also has come along and he is not very funny. But he sucks up to the owner and takes him out to eat and who knows what else.
Well the other day this new guy comes up to my brother and tries to give him "advise" and says, "It's not about how funny you are but it's all about who you know. You need to be a kiss ass." My brother tells him that he is a faggot and that he would "Rather make it in comedy because I am funny than the quality of my BJ's!". Ha! After he told me this I couldn't help but laugh for a really long time.
Well these two new guys are touring with the owner of the comedy club and going to bars. Well guess what my brother sent in a tape of his routine to the San Jose Improve and he is now on the list for the 21st of this month. If anyone happens to be in the Bay Area the 21st of July go and see him. He is good.
07.08.04 (2:32 pm)
Life sucks! [edit]
Why does life suck? That is the question of this post.
Why do bad things happen to us? Why do loved ones die? Mom gets cancer and leaves behind a dad and three kids to fend for themselves. Your dog gets hit by a car, your cat's lungs fills up with puss and suffocates on your lap on the way to the vet.
Your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend leaves you for another girl, your bestfriend, who said they would always be there for you, doesn't want anything to do with you. Your parents tell you you are good for nothing. Your siblings tell you they hate you and they mean it.
How do we react to these tragedies in our lives? Some cut themselves. Others try to sleep their lives away, cry cry cry, move on and bury it and pretend nothing is the matter, suicide, depression, loneliness, work work work, yell at anyone who happens to be within hearing distance, kick the dog, beat your kids, become a hermit.
Why do bad things happen?
Why do bad things happen to us? Why do loved ones die? Mom gets cancer and leaves behind a dad and three kids to fend for themselves. Your dog gets hit by a car, your cat's lungs fills up with puss and suffocates on your lap on the way to the vet.
Your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend leaves you for another girl, your bestfriend, who said they would always be there for you, doesn't want anything to do with you. Your parents tell you you are good for nothing. Your siblings tell you they hate you and they mean it.
How do we react to these tragedies in our lives? Some cut themselves. Others try to sleep their lives away, cry cry cry, move on and bury it and pretend nothing is the matter, suicide, depression, loneliness, work work work, yell at anyone who happens to be within hearing distance, kick the dog, beat your kids, become a hermit.
Why do bad things happen?
07.08.04 (6:29 am)
A tangled mess! [edit]
Tonight I had small group with my kids. It was great as always. We had so much food. Jose brought an ice-cream cake. Nat brought homemade pizza. I brought chips. Chris and David's mom provided doughnut holes and crab dip. (great combination).
We talked about masks and why or why not we want to wear them. We talked about superheros and how they were masks to hide who they are. How hockey players where masks to protect themselves. But sometime when the hockey players wear the masks it distorts their vision.
I tried to encourage them to not wear masks to be themselves. We talked about how to take off the masks and how hard that is. When one takes off a mask that they have been wearing it causes them to be vulnerable. Sometimes people might not accept who you really are. But is it worth someone liking you for who you are not or would you rather wait for someone to like you for you.
How do you take off the masks? Well Tasha said that we need to embrace the truth and to get rid of the lies that we live. Once you have put on masks it is hard to take them off because life becomes a tangled mess.
We talked about masks and why or why not we want to wear them. We talked about superheros and how they were masks to hide who they are. How hockey players where masks to protect themselves. But sometime when the hockey players wear the masks it distorts their vision.
I tried to encourage them to not wear masks to be themselves. We talked about how to take off the masks and how hard that is. When one takes off a mask that they have been wearing it causes them to be vulnerable. Sometimes people might not accept who you really are. But is it worth someone liking you for who you are not or would you rather wait for someone to like you for you.
How do you take off the masks? Well Tasha said that we need to embrace the truth and to get rid of the lies that we live. Once you have put on masks it is hard to take them off because life becomes a tangled mess.
07.06.04 (8:44 pm)
God always provides! [edit]
I know, I know, some of you are thinking, "This girl is too religious for me!" Well I just want to clear this up. Just because God's name is mentioned does not mean that it has anything to do with religion. What I am going to say in this post right now has nothing to do with religion.
As most of you know I am going to Thailand and I was going to use half of my money for my car on the trip. I knew that God was going to provide although now I don't have hardly any money for my car He told me not to worry. So I didn't.
I went to work at the church today. (My school and church offices are all in the same building.) And I went into the school office to get some paper work and I told them that I was going to Thailand. They told me that there was still money in the scholarship fund for missions and all I had to do was fill out an app. And they would approve it!
This is so awesome because now I will only have to spend 1/4 of the money that I have saved for my car instead of half. God told me that He was going to provide and He did.
As most of you know I am going to Thailand and I was going to use half of my money for my car on the trip. I knew that God was going to provide although now I don't have hardly any money for my car He told me not to worry. So I didn't.
I went to work at the church today. (My school and church offices are all in the same building.) And I went into the school office to get some paper work and I told them that I was going to Thailand. They told me that there was still money in the scholarship fund for missions and all I had to do was fill out an app. And they would approve it!
This is so awesome because now I will only have to spend 1/4 of the money that I have saved for my car instead of half. God told me that He was going to provide and He did.
07.06.04 (1:39 pm)
The Legacy of the Pins...gone. [edit]
I have had my purse since Christmas 2001. My sister gave it to me because I needed a purse for my trip to Africa. (I normally didn't use a purse) The purse was a Dickies gray corduroy. It was perfect for me. Returning from Africa I was surprised to find that I continued to use it, which was a first for me.
Upon my return I started to collect pins and I would place them on my purse. The collection started on the small little pins and I would put them on the strap of the purse. That was all I wanted, was small pins for the strap. Then my friends started to give me pins that were too big for the strap so I didn't want to be rude so I put them on the bag itself. I think that I have collected about 60 pins and they were all on my purse.
The tragic part of the story. The whole reason for this story in the first place is that I found out today that my purse was stolen. Along with all the pins. Some of those pins had sentimental value for me. (The last thing that the man I love gave me was a pin. My sister asked a bass player of a band for one of his pins, the Amelie one, the "I am loved" and the "I caught you picking your nose" pins that my bestfriend Girlie gave me.)
I guess I was just stupid enough to leave my purse in the car. They also took the sweatshirt that was on top of the purse hiding it. Why didn't I lock the car you ask? Well the car needs to be sent into Pimp my Ride. But seeing as we don't live in So Cal we aren't allowed. The previous owner of the car was a druggy and the cops came and performed a drug bust on the car. Thus removing anything that is remotely removable. So I guess I am saying all this just to say the car is not lockable.
I just finished canceling my credit card. I hope whoever took my purse did not use it before I had the chance to put a block on the account.
The Legacy of the Pins...Gone.
Upon my return I started to collect pins and I would place them on my purse. The collection started on the small little pins and I would put them on the strap of the purse. That was all I wanted, was small pins for the strap. Then my friends started to give me pins that were too big for the strap so I didn't want to be rude so I put them on the bag itself. I think that I have collected about 60 pins and they were all on my purse.
The tragic part of the story. The whole reason for this story in the first place is that I found out today that my purse was stolen. Along with all the pins. Some of those pins had sentimental value for me. (The last thing that the man I love gave me was a pin. My sister asked a bass player of a band for one of his pins, the Amelie one, the "I am loved" and the "I caught you picking your nose" pins that my bestfriend Girlie gave me.)
I guess I was just stupid enough to leave my purse in the car. They also took the sweatshirt that was on top of the purse hiding it. Why didn't I lock the car you ask? Well the car needs to be sent into Pimp my Ride. But seeing as we don't live in So Cal we aren't allowed. The previous owner of the car was a druggy and the cops came and performed a drug bust on the car. Thus removing anything that is remotely removable. So I guess I am saying all this just to say the car is not lockable.
I just finished canceling my credit card. I hope whoever took my purse did not use it before I had the chance to put a block on the account.
The Legacy of the Pins...Gone.
07.06.04 (6:03 am)
It is hard being yourself! Part 2 [edit]
I think that in order to be yourself you need to take off all your masks. There are different kinds of masks. There are masks that protect you, that make you someone different and many more. (too tired to think of more) For example is courage a mask or is fear a mask? Is courage just taking off the mask of Fear? Good question.
I think that if you were to take off your masks then you would be forced to be vulnerable. Which is hard. You don't want to be vulnerable. Jesus did not wear any masks. He was vulnerable. He knew that Judas was going to betray Him but He did not allow that to make Him be someone else in order to protect Himself. He knew who He was and was not willing to compramise that fact.
I think that if you were to take off your masks then you would be forced to be vulnerable. Which is hard. You don't want to be vulnerable. Jesus did not wear any masks. He was vulnerable. He knew that Judas was going to betray Him but He did not allow that to make Him be someone else in order to protect Himself. He knew who He was and was not willing to compramise that fact.
07.05.04 (11:17 pm)
It is hard being yourself! [edit]
Today I was talking to one of my friends. This friend is having a hard time because this is the first time in their life that they have not been liked or not had friends.
I told my friend that it is hard being yourself. That you have to worry if people will really like you for yourself or if you should play it cool and try to be someone else. People want to put on masks to guard their pride but does this really boost your pride or does it just bring a false sence of pride.
Then I was talking to a guy and he was trying to get a girl to like him so he tried to play it Joe Cool. I think that he ended up insulting the girl...
I told my friend that it is hard being yourself. That you have to worry if people will really like you for yourself or if you should play it cool and try to be someone else. People want to put on masks to guard their pride but does this really boost your pride or does it just bring a false sence of pride.
Then I was talking to a guy and he was trying to get a girl to like him so he tried to play it Joe Cool. I think that he ended up insulting the girl...
07.05.04 (1:14 pm)
When Harry met Sally [edit]
I know, I know it's pathetic but this weekend was my first time seeing this movie. I think that it is turning into one of my favorite movies.
This movie talks about how men and women cannot be friends. Harry says that you can't befriends with the opposite sex because the sex always gets in the way. Sally disagrees as do I. I have mostly guy friends and I have never had sex. Harry tells Sally that she only thinks that sex is not a problem but all the guys want to do her anyways it is just a fact.
I didn't agree then I was talking to one of my guy friends and he told me about when he was moving from the mainland to Hawaii that he made out with this girl that he didn't like but she liked him. He told me that she kissed him and he just kissed her back. I asked why would he want to kiss her if he didn't like her. He said that he had a hard time saying no. I asked why and he said that all guys have a hard time saying no...interesting.
This movie talks about how men and women cannot be friends. Harry says that you can't befriends with the opposite sex because the sex always gets in the way. Sally disagrees as do I. I have mostly guy friends and I have never had sex. Harry tells Sally that she only thinks that sex is not a problem but all the guys want to do her anyways it is just a fact.
I didn't agree then I was talking to one of my guy friends and he told me about when he was moving from the mainland to Hawaii that he made out with this girl that he didn't like but she liked him. He told me that she kissed him and he just kissed her back. I asked why would he want to kiss her if he didn't like her. He said that he had a hard time saying no. I asked why and he said that all guys have a hard time saying no...interesting.
07.05.04 (3:54 am)
Is there really such thing as "the one" [edit]
So I was thinking today about boys, the dreaded topic. I was wondering about the concept of the [b]one[/b]. If you were to ask me a year and a half ago if I thought there was [b]one[/b] person for you I would say yes. I was an avid believer of the [b]one[/b].
So now I am wondering if that [b]one[/b] can ruin happiness for you? If the one decides that he doesn't want to be the [b]one[/b] anymore then where does that leave you? Will you be the [b]one[/b] and only lonely for the rest of your life?
Then I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe there is no such thing as the [b]one[/b]. I have been beginning to think that if two people think that they like each other and want to be together then they can make it work. They just have to make a desicion to make it work no matter what. You just have to decide.
Maybe I am full of crap and don't know what I am talking about!
So now I am wondering if that [b]one[/b] can ruin happiness for you? If the one decides that he doesn't want to be the [b]one[/b] anymore then where does that leave you? Will you be the [b]one[/b] and only lonely for the rest of your life?
Then I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe there is no such thing as the [b]one[/b]. I have been beginning to think that if two people think that they like each other and want to be together then they can make it work. They just have to make a desicion to make it work no matter what. You just have to decide.
Maybe I am full of crap and don't know what I am talking about!
07.05.04 (3:23 am)
I was going to write something... [edit]
but I forgot!
07.04.04 (11:37 pm)
hi [edit]
this is my blog
