Well I made my choice. I am staying with my band. I figured there are thousands of missionaries going around the world every year but where are the missionaries in the clubs and bars? Also the window of oppertunity to be a missionary is really big. I can be pretty much any age and do it any time. But the window of oppertunity to go with that band and try and make it big is small and it is a wonce in a lifetime chance.

It has come down to the wire. I have to make a choice. Do I want to go with the band 100%? That has alot of implacations. I had no idea how big of a choice this is.

If I decide to go with the band that means that I have to give up being a missionary for a really long time. I would have to give up something that I have been hopeing for for the past decade. Something that I have been intensely preparing for for the past two years. Something that has made me the most happiest the first 22 years of my life.

If I decide to not go with the band that means that I would have to give up playing music in a band of course. I love playing shows. I never thought this would go so far, that we might actually make it big. That means that I would have to give up talking to people after shows. I have wanted to be in a band for as long as I can remember. If I don't go with them and they make it big then I will regret not going with them.

What should I do...what should I do?

I was talking to my sister today and she has come to a conclusion. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! No matter what you like to do there is a way for you to get paid to do that for your job.

If you really like clothes you can be a costume designer.

If you really like to put band aids on people you can be a nurse.

If you really like to talk on the phone you can be a telemarketer.

If you really like make-up you can be a Mary-kay consultant.

If you really like to fight you can choreograph fight scenes and battles.

If you really like to dig in the dirt you can be an Archaeologist.

If you reallly like to argue and pick fights with people you can be a lawyer.

If you like to eat at Mcdonalds you can work at Mcdonalds.

If you really like kids you can be a preschool teacher.

If you really like to lie & pretend to be someone else you can be an actor.

If you really like creating drama you can be a writer.

If you really like people to look at you, you can be a model.

If you really like to play video games you can be a video game tester.

If you really like money you can be a banker.

If you really like to cut things up you can be a butcher.

If you really like to be a bitch you can be the meter maid.

If you really like to tell jokes you can be a comedian.

If you really like mail you can be the mail man.

If you really like milk you can be a milk man.

If you really like muffins you can be the muffin man.

If you really like garbage you can be the garbage man.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp; 

My mom sent me and my sister an email today this is what it said, "Hey Girls, Guess who's kind of available? Did you hear Brad and Jennifer are separating? HMMMMM"

I have no idea what she thinks it going to happen now.

It seems that the year has started off with a bang. First the year twenty O four ends with an earthquake and a butt load of gargantuan waves hit south east Asia and thousands of people are killed. People have lost their lives and loved ones and homes and sanity. I feel for those people so that I wanted to go and do relief work over there. That fell through because they want people who are trained in that area and who have experience. Whatever. I guess I understand.

But life goes on over here in the US of A. I work and hang out with my sis (she is visiting me between semesters). People make new years resolutions and try to lose their holiday weight. My resolution this year is to change my attitude toward boys. See I have this problem where I think that all boys, or anything male for that matter, are stupid and that I hate them all. So this year my attitude will change. I will no longer think these bad things about boys.

Martin the singer in my band got married today. I was sitting there and they were dancing their first dance as a married couple. I was sitting there and the song was a good song but I couldn't help but think that the song that I want my first dance to be to is way better. Then I was thinking, will I ever get married? Will I ever find me a guy who loves me that way that I want to be loved? To look at me with that love in his eye? To take me out to the beach in the night and sit in the sand and listen to wave crash on the shores? 

Hhhhmmmm....what will life bring me? What will this year bring me? Lets wait and see...