One of my co-workers has lost alot of weight. I asked her about it and she told me that she had started to take Zantrex-3. She let me try a couple pills before work a couple nights ago and it didn't make me feel sick or anything so I went out and bought a bottle. I really need to loose weight so I am going to see how this works. I am a bit worried though about what is going to happen once I loose the weight I want to loose. Am I supposed to quit taking the pills? If so will I just start to gain weight again? I need to change my diet and exercise program so that when I do loose the weight that it will stay off.

If any of you have taken Zantrex-3 let me know how it was for you. Did you have any side effects, did you loose all the weight you wanted to? Would you recomend it to others? Leave me a comment or send me a t-mail.

So I am fat. Well I am not too fat but I am definatly somewhere between 35 and 50lbs overweight! So I got me a job at the YMCA watching kids. Because if you work for the YMCA you get a free gym membership. So today I get up and shave my legs and put on my new workout clothes and getin my car and get there in time for the work out class. I need the class because I can't make myself workout by myself. I get bored. But in the past I went to workout classes and had fun and I was skinny back then. So anyways I get there and they tell me that the classes got canceld for today because it is a holiday! What?! I didn't know it was a holiday!

I got this idea from my missionary friend in Africa. Every month he writes an email saying what he is thankful for. Every time he writes he makes a list and it matches the number of how many days of the month has past. So for today I will write about 24 things I am thankful for.

1. My roommates

2. Mochi Ice-cream

3. Alcohol

4. Missions

5. My A+ kids

6. My friend Ernest

7. The fact that I am over my ex

8. For how much God loves me

9. My school]

10. Dangly earrings

11. The oppertunity to make money

12. Black t-shirts

13. Free gym membership

14. C.S. Lewis

15. Everybody Loves Raymond

16. That my brother enjoys talking to me on the phone

17. Croquet

18. My brown cadet hat

19. Sudoku

20. Converse Chuck Taylors

21. Chinese Chicken Salad

22. The Bible

23. Jello

24. Cell Phones

I was talking to my roommate this morning and she was telling me that a friend of hers from before high school found heron myspace. So they have been catching up and she found out that this girl now has 2 kids. My roommate was surprised because in Jr. High this girl was really shy. Really really shy. I asked Robyn (my roommate) why she was so surprised. She said that she doesn't think that shy girls have he right frame of mind to be sexually active. I asked her what that had to do with anything. I told her it made perfect sense to me that she would be sexually active. Because if a girl is shy then there is a reason. She might have been kinda dorky and not had anyone pay any attention to her or the attention that she did get was probably negative. So when a guy finally gives her attention that feels good and makes her feel beautiful and worthwhile then she wants to keep it and if that means sleeping with her boyfriend then so be it. I think that some girls feel like what they ahve is the only option. Either that or nothing ever again. So maybe she could stick through it. At least she has that relationship. But she doesn't know that in reality she can wait and get someone even better than her dreams.

I have noticed some things in the past that I want to write about. I have seen girls fall in love with guys that are totally not their type. Not the guys that they want to be with but for some reason they do anyways.

For example, I have this friend. When we were in high school this guy liked her and she did not like him at all. She thought that he was gross. He told her she liked him and she turned him down. But he continued to like her and she kept on ignoring him and turning him down. Eventually she started to like him.

Why did she start to like him? Was it because she truly liked him back or did she fall in love with the attention that he was giving her? Did she feel like she was wanted and enjoy it?

They didn't stay together and it took her a long time to get over him.

Now this same girl is getting married. For a long time the guy that she was with did the same thing that the other guy did. But this time there are mre real reasons why she likes him. She likes who he is and what he does and what he wants to do with his life. They match in that department.

Still I can see why this happens. Sometimes a girl only get attention from one guy and then she starts to like the attention. She is worried that this is her only chance to be with someone. That no one else will ever love her as much as this person. So she gives in. She doesn't realize that there is someone out there that someday will love her like no other and she will love him like no other. That they are truly a good match.

Now I have to say that I have never experienced this. But I believe. I am waiting. I don't want to just be loved, I want to love. I don't want to just love the attention I want to love the attention giver.

I am going to wait. I am going to hope.

The other night I was driving home and I was listening to the classic rock station. When you are Strange came on by the Doors. The DJ said that Jim Morrison died at the age of 27. Then three years later his girlfriend died at the age of 27. He said that at that time all rockstars died at the age of 27.

Good thing all rockstars don't die at the age of 27 any more because half of my band would already be dead. And I would see my demize in two years.

"Art is not a mirror, but it is a hammer... Not a mirror to hold up to society, but a hammer in which to shape it."

-Bertolt Brecht quoted by Paul Haggis as he accepted his Oscar for best screenplay for his movie Crash.

Two nights ago at work I started to feel really slow and achy. You know that feeling that you get right before you get sick? That is the feeling I got. I knew that we were short on staff so I stayed till the planes were loaded. Then I asked if I could go home.

I went home and went to sleep that day wasn't too bad and I didn't feel so sick. Although I kept on wanting to sleep. Then my throught started to hurt then it was time to go to class. The whole way through the class I was fidgetty and restless. I knew I was getting really sick.

I went home and decided to call in to work. Then I was wondering if I shouldv'e gone to work because I wasn't feeling that sick. BUt then I thought well it's ok this way I won't get sicker.

I knew that we had night quill so I didn't buy any when I was going to bed I went to go and take some but then there was only two tablets and you are supposed to take two. I took the one that I had and hoped it would get me through the night. Well it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. I was restless and my body was so achy that I couldn't stop moaning and rolling over. Then my nose started to run and I had to get up and take some meds.

Needless to say it was a horible night and today wasn't any better. My roommate offered to go get me some night quill and she did. I am so thankful for her. Hopefull I will sleep well tonight.

I am sure you really wanted to hear about all that. Sorry