Last October (is that how you spell that?)I had been reading a book for my class on worship. The assignment was to pick a book from the list and read it and write a report. So I was reading a book called Emerging Worship and it was talking about different ways people were makeing post modern church. There are so many different kinds. There are multi sencory services, and all these other kinds and one of the other ones were people meeting in houses.

I had been feeling very dissatisfied with the church I was going to at this time. Don't get me wrong the church I was going was and still is a really good church. It just isn't for me. It is a seeker sencitive church and it wasn't meeting my needs.

I was reading this book about emerging worship and I started to pray and talk to God about ideally what kind of church I would want to go to. I picked and choosed different aspects from the examples in the book and I was talking to God and I told Him that was what I was wanting in a church.

Two weeks after I prayed that my band had a show and and one my friends and i were talking and catching up on life and he was telling me that he was going to start a church in his house and he wanted it to be a place where people be real and encourage each other and talk about the Bible and study together and worship together and be a community. I was completely shocked because what he was telling me was exactly what I had been praying about.

Later that week me, him and two other friends got together to discuss what we wanted to do with church and we had so many ideas and we just started to meet at my friends house and we were kinda just making it up as we wet along but it has been getting better and better as we go.

So to answer Pastor Daves question house church is this. We get together, christians and non-christians alike, around 7pm and we eat dinner and hang out for about an hour, then we have praise and worship time. This is a bit strange because more than half of the people who go to our church are musicians. What we do is we dont sing songs, we believe that worshiping God is a daily thing, that it is a lifestyle and what we do is we share how we worshipped God durring that week. We also give praise reports of answered prayers. Then after that we start the discussion. We don't have a sermon but we have a discussion on a certain part of the Bible and we talk about what it means and how we can apply it to our lives. Then afterwards if someone needs prayer then they go into the back room and pray.

When we first started this church we talked about what we wanted to do with it. We read from Acts 2 where it talked about what the early church was and it gave a list of things like, eating together, worshiping together, living in commuity and everywhere they went signs and wonders followed. We were so excited for the beginning part and when we got to the last part we were a little surprised. We hadn't thought about that. So we decided that it was in the Bible so we would pray to let GOd do that through us. That week one of the guys had this problem with his foot and the Doctors didnt know what to do. They thought that they would have to cut it off. So we decided to pray for his foot. That week the problem went totally away. We have seen more mircles and healings and so many crazy things. God is so good. He is amazing.

I just have to say, I love my house church.

That is over now, I am the only one left. They are all married and I am the last one left single. I don't even have a boyfriend.

It was great, we had so much fun this weekend doing all the wedding stuff. Three of us were from far away and we had to fly in to be here. One of the girls I hadn't seen since before I moved away. It really sucks growing up and everyone having their own lives and living so far away. But it is always great coming back together.

The funniest thing is that something funny will happen, like knocking down the stripper pole, (see a previous blog) and everyone talking about telling their husband or boyfriend. It would go down the line and they would each take their turn saying that they would call thier husband and it would get to me and I would shrug and say, "I'll go home and write it in my blog." sigh.

I guess my blog is the next best thing I got to a boyfriend. It is aways here when I need it, always listens and never talks back. The problem with all this is it doesn't give me advise, for the most part, and it doesn't love me back.

We knew that she wanted a stipper pole. (just so you know, she is a virgin and very sexually awkward) So we bought her one from Spencers. It was awesome. WE set it up in her bedroom while she was on the phone and then we called her in. She was so excited. But she didn't know what to do. So one of the girls was so confident that she knew what she was doing that she stood up and said, "It's like this!" and ran up to the pole and then tried to swing on it and ended up knocking the whole pole to the ground and falling flat on her face! Oh My Gosh! We sesriously laughed for a good ten minutes straight. My stomache and my face was hurting so bad from all the laughing!

I love my family so much but everytime I go home and visit I can only handle so much and before I never really knew why. I know why now. I knew before that I had changed and the changed Christine didn't like the pressure of my family. It is not a pressure to do anything but a pressure to keep on being myself.

Now I have realized that everyone in my family loves to be mad. They find every reason to be mad and they hold on to that reason for as long as they can and they refuse to stop being mad. They get mad at people in trafic. Yes I get road rage, "Move! Get out the way! ... Haaarrry up!" But it doesn't make me angry to the point where I let it keep me mad. It might inhance previous anger but I try to not keep it. If someone doesn't do what they want them to do then they get mad and they won't let go.

There are other things they get mad at but I think I could go on forever. I know that before I moved away I was like that too. I don't know how I changed or why. But I know that I did. There are times when things make me want to get mad but then I tell myself that that is a stupid thing to be mad at and I have to force myself to stop and not let myself be mad.

The reason why I find myself having a hard time being home is that the longer I am here that harder it is to fight the maddness. My family doesn't let anything go. If I try to drop it then they bring it up then I try to explain whatever it is and then they tell me to drop it and then they get mad at me for explaining. *heavey sigh* It is so hard. I just have to get up and walk away. Tonight I was having a hard time letting go and I realized these things as I was looking out into the night. But it was still hard to let go. So I came in and wrote this blog.

It's times like this that I wish that I had a best friend. Someone I could call and talk to about this and they would listen and empathize with me and love me and then pray for me. That is what I wish that I had right now. Someone to tell me that I could fight the madness, to keep on being myself and to lift me up to God.

So I figue, well if I want this guy to like me then I guess that I should try to speak his language. So I decided that I was going to start touching him. I know that sounds really weird but it is the truth. I have to do it. I am leaving in three days for the mainland and I am going to be gone for nearly three weeks. I figued maybe the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder is true and he will miss me, but then the other side is that out of sight out of mind and maybe he won't even think of me. So I decided when I get back I will start touching him.

That plan didn't exactly work out. The perfect oppertunity arose. I was leaving church and I walked out the front door and was putting my shoes on and he was standing there with his back to me but he was at arms lengths. I told myself that I had to touch him. As I was building up my courage I waved at his best friend and best friends wife. The best friend walked over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then I reached over and touched the guy I likes arm and said bye. Then he slowly turned towards me and then reached over and touched my arm and said bye. Then I reached over and touched him again and said bye again and he did it again too. Then by that time the best friends wife was standing there so I hugged her and turned around and ran away!

I don't know why this freaks me out so much. I don't know why I have to run away. I am so weird. Oh well. I hope that that touch gave him a hint. Hopefully he will think about it when I am gone. I hope this guy falls in love with me soon already!

First I had thought that they had stolen my sunglasses and ashtray from the cab and as I was driving to work I prayed and asked God to return my sunglasses to me. So I parked my truck at work and went to the bed of the truck and found my ashtray and sunglasses and also found that they had stolen all the other stuff I already mentioned.

So I filed a police report and prayed that God would return to me my bass amp. That was the most expencive peice of property that I own. I am praying that either the people will try to pawn it off and it will get returned to me, or that God will convict the people's hearts to return it to me or for Him to somehow provide for me in some special way that only He can think up.

Well no matter what happens I will trust God to take care of me and to do what He does best.