It was a good night. Alot of people came to the show and they all were in good spirits (and it was not all from the bar either). We had good sound and good crowd responce and we all had good fun.

It was hard because it was my last time playing with them. But since I was staying I started an all girl band called Random Romance. That night was our first show. We played two songs and had a good responce from the crowd. It was cool because Harrison let us play right before them. So there was a lot of people there too see us.

I hope that we will be able to have more shows and have some fun.

My sister wanted to go to the place where they filmed the TV show Lost, go to the beach, get shave ice and stuff like that. So we went tromping around on the North Shore.

After we saw the set and went to the beach and ate shave ice we went to this place called Resurection City. This family lives there and the dad is an artist and he paints alot of surfers broken boards and he also paints murals on walls and stuff like that. They have 13 kids or something outrageous like that.

The gallery is an outside one and also in their living room they have alot of musical equipment and the family plays music. We went inside to see the art and while we were looking the dad came out and told us that the son is a really good musician. So he called over too of the younger boys and they jumped on the bass and drums and the older boy got out a guitar and a mic. The dad started to play the piano and we sat down to enjoy a good ten minutes of live music.

Before they played we were looking at the art and the dad asked us if we were artist and we told him that my sister and my friend were artists but I wasn't. So he told me that I must be a lover then. I told him I didn't know and he said that there are only two kinds of people in this world, artists and lovers. Then we started to talk about music and my friend told him that I was a musican and the dad said, "I told you you were a lover!"

What are you? An artist or a lover?

Then I was thinking. How would they get them out of me? What are the repercussions? What are the risks? Could it hinder me from having my own some day down the road?

What if I do donate and then I could have some kid out there somewhere someday. What if that happens then I have kids of my own and they meet the donated kid? What if they fall in love? That's like insest!

Oh! $4 grand is a lot of money and is very tempting but I don't know if it is worth it! I will talk to some of my guy friends and ask them what they think and how they would react if their wifes did that before they got married and how they would feel. All these things are things to think about.

What should I do? What do you think? If you are reading this let me know your opinion because the more I think about it the better. I don't want to make an unwise decision.

I have been reading a book called "Scar Tissue" by Anthony Keidas. It is really good. I love this book. It is really sad. If you don't know, Anthony is the lead singer of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

It is an autobiography about his life and the band. I was thinking if my band wrote a book it would be really boring. If I wrote a book about my life it just might be pretty interesting. I have had a lot of adventures and alot of guys hitting on me and alot of weird stuff happen. Maybe I should write a book. But we will see if that ever happens because I have a lack of self modivation to do stuff like that. Oh well.

It has been a strange time for me lately. I have been feeling alone. Not nesisarrily (i know i know bad spelling) lonely but alone. It sucks even more than actually being alone. I am with people all the time but I feel alone. I don't understand how these things happen to me. I go through sperts where I feel like this.

Another thing that maight be makeing me feel like this is that my life is going through so many changes. First of all I am transfering to the day shift next week. I have been working with this crew for such a long time, well just two years, but still. Then my band is leaving for the mainland to try and make it but I am staying here. Our last show is in a week and a half. Then they move away. My sister is visiting and she leaves a couple days after our last show. Then I will be starting my last semester at school! That is crazy to me. I have been going to school for so long already. I graduated from high school in '99 and I have been going to college every semester since. WOW! How weird is that? So crazy!

*sigh* Everything seems to be changing. Except for my status. You know what I mean. I am still as single as ever. Why can't that one thing change? It would make all these other changes easier. Oh well. I guess I justhave to wait a bit longer. It's ok. I can do it!