When I got off work I called her up and she came over with her bike.

We were getting ready to take off and she said she just likes to cruise. I told her it is alot harder if you are going so slow. But she just wanted to go at her pace. So we went off and I was going as slow as I could and I still had passed her so far! I had to go and wait and go and wait! She was so slow!!!

Normally I ride the trail and it takes me about 40 minutes. When we went it was an hour and a half! I don't think that I got that much of a work out. But I was so surprised that the end seemed to come up so fast. Even though it was twice as long.

Then we were waiting for the people in the plane to give us the cans and they were taking forever. Then we found out that they needed help. So my boss sent me up to help them with the one can. It turned out that it was a pallet. The pallet had about three engines on it and they were all more in the middle so it made the pallet kinda warped. There were big guys up in plane and they couldn't even budge it and I didn't know what I could do to help.

We tried once and it might have moved a millimeter. Then I asked how much it weighed and the guys told me, "8475 stones." "Stones?" I asked. They said, "Yeah, its a European way of measuring things." I just stared at them for a minute and said, "I thought they were on the metric system."

I guess it turned out to be a mistake. They guys had no idea what they were talking about. It was so funny. 8475 stones. Oh brother.

I have written to that Korean guy on the mainland a few times now the past couple days. We have some really good conversations about art, movies, food, books, work and school. It has been quit enjoyable. I have told him that I go to my house church and he doesn't seem to be judgmental about it. So I think it has been good. It is nice to have a pen pal and get to talk to someone. I just want everyone to know that I am not interested in being in a relationship with him because he is so far away on the mainland but I don't mind being pen pals. Just so everyone knows that is where I am at.

Back to dinner with my friends. After listening to them moan and groan over their failed relationships and heart aches I bring up my pen pal who half of my friends set me up with. I don't even get a sentence into my story and I am interrupted by the friend who doesn't even know him and seems to be convinced that I don't want to get together with him and that I don't want him to be my boyfriend. I tell her that I don't want him to be my boyfriend we just email each other. So I try to continue my conversation and I don't even get another sentence into the story and I am cut off again and she tries to convince me that I don't want to be with him. I was just so frustrated because I had just listened to her sob story for the um-teenth time and she can't even let me talk for two whole minutes. So I think that my frustration came out when I said, "I don't want to be with him I am not interested in him that way but I have a good story and no one seems to want to hear it!" They both shut up and let me tell my story which turned out to be entertaining and the friend who tried to talk me out of "being with him" is now thinking that I should be with him because he seems like such a nice guy and she wants a pen pal too.

Geeze! Just listen to my story already!

I was wondering why he would write me in the first place and she told me that he had asked her to recommend a friend of hers to him who he could email back and forth. I don't really get why he wants to do this but what the heck.

I wrote him and told him that he never wrote me. He thinks he did. We have written to each other a couple times each and it is quite pleasant. I was surprised. He seems to be a somewhat nice guy. Although he always wants to know what I am wearing and how short my shorts are.

Saturday night we had a party at my friends house because one of our friends was moving to LA. I got there late because I ended up working late because of those pilots. (See a post below for the story about that "Two beers with the pilots?") I was watching a video that my friend who is moving made and then TBM came up to me said my name to get my attention and I turned around to give it to him. He asked me if I would make homemade bread for communion the next night. I just looked at him for a minute and said, "MAKE bread?" He nodded, my eye brows went up and I told him that I had never made it before. He told me not to worry about it too much but I said I would see what I could do.

I had wished that he would have told me a day before cuz I had the whole day free on saturday till I had to work and on sunday I had to work in the morning and I had to be at TBM's house at 4:30pm.

I decided that I would go home early from the party because one, I was super tired, two, they were starting a movie and it was already 10:30. I mean it's not that late but I had to work the next morning. Plus I wanted to check into how to make that bread. So I left.

I went to the store to see if they had any multi-grain flour or something like that to make the bread. I was looking and I didn't see anything. Then I saw it. It was a box mix. Like the betty crocker cake mixes. It was a cracked wheat bread mix. I looked at it and I saw that I would have enough time to make it after I worked the next day, easter.

The next day I make the dough but I didn't have enough time to bake it before I went to TBM's house because I worked late again. So I just let it rise in the car and bake it at TBM's house.

I get to his house I turn on the oven and he was stoked that I made bread and I put the pan in the oven. When the time was up I took it out and it was super dark on top and hard! Everybody was still in the living room and I was in the kitchen and I was curious as to how hard the bread was. So I knocked on top of it. It sounded like I was knocking on the door! I was a bit worried and I started to laugh. I knocked again and laughed again. haha. Then TBM asks what I am doing and I turn to where I can see him and he can see the bread and I knock again! He started to laugh so hard and everybody wanted to see what was going on. Oh man was it funny.

After I let it cool I checked the bread again and it wasn't so hard and the bread turned out super good. So after we had finished eating dinner TBM asked if I was ready to bring out the stuff for communion and so I cleared the coffee table and brought out the glasses, wine and the bread. We sat there and looked at it for a minute and TBM says, "Christine made the bread. Lets eat all of it." Then I said, "After this I can make some honey butter spread and we can have it with the bread after." Then TBM said, "OOOhhhhh! Yeah! Make it! Make it now!" "Now?" I ask and he nods enthusiastically and said, "Who said we can't have butter and honey with communion?" I shrug and get up and make the butter and honey spread.

We start talking about our found moments with God and remembering what He did for us and we pore ourselves some wine and then we partake of the bread and wine and butter honey. The honey made the wine really bitter. I hadn't thought about that at first but when I bought the wine I didn't think we would be eating honey on the bread.

TBM just loves the honey butter and says, "We should have honey and butter at every communion!" I am glad that he liked it. I liked it too.

Then I noticed that the hot blogs have been updated. That was cool. Then I noticed on the hot blogs that there are 8 of the same blog but with different names. They are all about some weird thing called Forex or something. Does everyone go on those pages and read those blogs? How did they get on the top blogs? They do post alot...

I just went on to the page and all the blogs were posted on march 20th and most of them were posted 3 or four times. There was one post that was posted 8 times in a row. No wonder they made it on the top blogs. haha

I just realized how pathetic I am for making a post about this. I need to get going on things that really matter.

*Sigh*

This is a class for just women and it is offered by the medical center. We signed up for the beginners class and we expected there to be women in their late 30's and 40's because there was a seniors class for the older women.

We didn't know exactly where this place was but we knew the address. We get to the building and it was in the Doctors office. We walk in and there were people in the waiting room and standing in line and we are wearing our work out clothes and we felt really out of place. We have no idea where to go so we ask the lady at the eye glasses office where to go. She directs us to a staff only door. Behind the door is a set of stairs and we ascend the stairs and then we were in a hallway of doors. We pass the door at first but I noticed it had a sign about the class on it so we opened the door and everyone stops and looks at us.

We look in and ask if this was the beginning aerobics class and they all said yes. We walk in and notice that we are the only white girls in the room, well except for the teacher. Then I notice that they are all older than I had thought they would be. It seems that they are all in their fifties or sixties! The ladies are still looking at us and they tell us that we are too young and fit to be in this class. I totally disagreed with them. I was like yeah my roommate is skinny but I am not!

The class was good. It was pretty easy so I think the next session we will sign up for the intermediate class.

My brother had to sign a paper allowing my mom to pick up his stuff. So my mom went down the the county jail and all they gave her was a blue piece of paper and his drivers license. My mom just looked that the guy and asked if that was it. They said it was.

She was so confused. Then she said, "How did he get here? Naked?" So they looked it up on the computer and it said that he came in with brown pants and no shirt. Then she asked if he was wearing shoes or socks. The guy just shrugged and said he didn't know.

How crazy is that? That is weird! A blue piece of paper and his license? What was on the blue paper? I need to ask my mom. That is so weird!

I escorted the pilots onto the premises and I took them to the plane. We got everything ready for them to go. They were supposed to leave by or before 5:30pm.

It is time for them to go and they have everything they needed and we are all ready to go. We wait and wait. As we are standing there waiting and chit chatting we realize that it has past 5:30! The door to the plane was still open. So my boss goes upstairs and finds out they need a new flight plan. So he goes in and tries to get one.

I am waiting and waiting and the pilots come out the the plane and they are talking and standing around. So I go up to them and ask what was going on and how long it was going to be. They say that they need the new paperwork and that I can go inside and they will call for me to push back the airplane. Then the captain said, "If we run out of time we will take you out for a beer. Or two!"

I went inside and they had to leave before 7:45pm or else the crew would go dead. The crew would go dead because they had to leave by a certain time or else they would be working too long and that is not allowed. I take them the new paper work and they have an hour till they go dead. I walk up to the cockpit and walk up the captain and hand him the paper work and say, "I almost thought that we were going to have to get those beers." Then he said to me, "We still might."

Nearly an hour goes by and finally they leave. I push the plane back and go inside waiting for the message to say that they are coming back so that I can go home. My supervisor tells me that the crew did not need a new flight plan and the reason that they took so long to leave was because the captain was begging contingency to let him stay saying that he was too tired and that they would not make it to hong kong on time.

What!? I told my supervisor that he wanted to take me to get beers! That is why he wanted to stay. He just wanted to go to the bar!

Now I am half happier with tBlog. I will be even more happier if they would fix the "visits" counter.

So I was doing some research on mypyramid.com and I was seeing that I am 20lbs over the highest weight that they say a 27 year old girl who is 5 foot 7 inches should weigh. So if you wanted you could go to the website and do some research and figure out how much I weigh but I am not going to make it that easy for you by just telling you. haha

I try to run around the block and eat right but it is so hard. I don't eat that bad. I have only eaten fast food one time in the past year. I eat all right but I know that my portions are too big. I love eating!

These are the things I need to do to make a difference. (seeing as I am going to be in 2 weddings this year and I don't want to be the chubby bridesmaid again) I need to exercise more. Running around the block is not long enough. I think I should extend the block a bit. Then I need to make sure that I make my portions so much smaller and I should drink more water. (haha that rhymes) I need to not eat when I am bored.

Does anyone have any recommendations on how to do a more effective workout that isn't boring or totally awful? What about food? What kind of food should I eat and does anyone have any good healthy and tasty recipes? Any ideas of what to do when you are bored and want to eat? Any input would be great. Thank you so much!

My dad told her that he would be so honored if she would live with him. (We left my dad a decade ago because he was drinking so much and it was not a good living situation.) She told him that some things would have to change if that was going to happen. She told him no more drinking and he said that he could do that.

My mom is moving to LA and my dad had to give back his car because he couldn't pay the bills anymore. So now he is drinking again. My sister is freaked out and so is my mom. My mom doesn't want to leave my sister with my dad all by herself. My dad told my mom yesterday that he was going to finish his bottle of vodka yesterday and that would be it but then he went and bought another one today. I don't know where he gets the money for this vodka. He hardly has enough no he doesn't have enough money to pay his mortgage but he can buy booze?!

I am really worried about my dad. I don't know what all this drinking is going to do to his body. He keeps on saying things like he doesn't know how long he will last. I don't know what he will do or what will happen to him. I know I am not getting married anytime soon and I don't even have a boyfriend but I really wonder if my dad will make it to my wedding. I don't want that. My brother is in prison for at least 4 more years and I don't want both of them to not make it to my wedding. I can't even imagine that.

Well I guess only time will tell. I will surrender them all to God. There is nothing else I can do. I guess we just have to trust in Him.

This whole thing is really surreal to me. It still weirds me out to think that he is not going to be at work anymore.

I think this was the first time I cried in front of my friends. I have been hanging out with them for years. We were having dinner at my friends house and we were all talking and I got a phone call, it was from a co-worker. She told me then that he died and I came back inside and I just let them continue talking about whatever they were talking about. A few tears came out and I just brushed them away. Then there were a few time when they streamed. Then one of my friend asked why I was crying and I told them and full on sobbed. Tears were streaming. I love my friends and I think they love me too.

It was weird. I was talking to Josh today at work and he was sharing a story with me and one thing he said was, "I still have a long life ahead of me." Then not even a half a day goes but and his life was over. He was a super fun guy. I loved hearing his stories and he always made me laugh. He had an awesome laugh himself. I will for sure miss him.

One thing I was thinking today was at least he died doing something that he loved. That is how I would want to die or else I would want to be killed fighting for something that I believe in. How would you want to die if you could choose?

If you go back and read my post entitled, "Little boys and old men...is that all I get?" then you will know what guy I am talking about; the Samoan security guard. After work, which went well and fine. The pilots remembered my name. That was cool. haha

Anyways, I was leaving and the Samoan security guard was there in the guard shack that I have to pass through to leave! He was not there when I got to work but he was there two hours later when I was leaving. Then he tried to make small talk ask me how I have been lately, what have I been up too. He didn't know that I worked on Saturdays. I was like where the heck have you been? I always work on saturdays!

Then he asked if he could have my phone number. I kinda hemmed and hawed a bit. He kept pressing for it. Then I told him, "you know I don't really like to talk to people from work outside of work." "Oh no" he said, "I was just thinking I could call you on your days off." OK really. I just said I didn't like to talk to people from work! Let alone on my days off! Then he said, "I was thinking we could ride around sometime on your days off." WHAT?! Ride around? Ride around? Ride around where? What the heck is he talking about? Does he mean ride around in a car? Like drive around? I don't want to do that with the people that I love and especially not with someone I don't even know. How weird and uncomfortable would that be? I really don't want to do that. So I just hemmed and hawed as I walked out the door.

He did not get my number. I felt bad because I totally rejected him and it sucks to be rejected. But what am I going to do? Not let him call me is what I am going to do. I don't want to have to deal with that!

Anyways today will be nice; all I have to do is escort the pilots inside to the office then to the planes. Then I have to wait around for them to be ready to leave then I have to push the plane back out to the runway. Which is my favorite job duty at work. Saturdays are nice days. :)

Also lately at work on saturday afternoons I hear people playing live music. A couple weeks ago I found where they play at and I kinda want to ask them if I can join them. But sometimes it seems like they already have a bass player.

Ok now about what I am going to do before work. Hopefully it all gets done and I don't slack. None if it is too important but it will make my weekend alot easier.

1) Ride my bike through the bike trail and back. Since I got bit by that dog I don't really think that I will be able to run so I will ride the bike. Plus it is better exercise. I really need some exercise. I haven't exercised very much this week. Since the time changed on the mainland (and ours stayed the same) we have to start work an hour earlier. So getting up at 4:17am instead of 5:17am is alot harder and it makes me more tired when I get home. It is mostly my fault because I stay up way too late and I don't get enough sleep. So I think I only exercised twice this week and that is really bad.

2)Check the cupboards for what food I already have and go shopping for all that I need for monday. I want to get this done today because I have to work in the morning tomorrow and then I have to pick up my friend at the airport in the afternoon and I don't want to have to go grocery shopping when she is here. We don't have that much time and I don't want to spend the time that we do have on shopping. She wants me to make her mexican food on monday before I take her to the airport. So we are having a little fiesta before she goes with a few of our friends. They are going to get to meet her new boyfriend/fiance.

3)Make the ice-cream base so that it can be chilled by tonight so I can put it through the machine before bed and the bowl can be frozen by tomorrow so I can make the second batch tomorrow so that we have 2 kinds of ice-cream for the fiesta. My friend really wants me to make her ice-cream too. haha she is cute. I will make the first one today witch will be Andes mint ice-cream. I will cook the base (not with eggs, thats too rich. I like my ice-cream to be more refreshing) the milk, cream and sugar on the stove then I will add the Andes mints onto the stove and let them melt. Then I will save some of the candies and break them up and put them in the ice-cream at the end. Then the second batch will be vanilla bean ice-cream. I will make the base for that while the mint ice-cream is going through the machine so that in the morning I can run the vanilla through the machine. I wanted to make ice-cream that would go with a mexican fiesta but I couldn't really find what kind would be mexican. What kind of ice-cream is mexican? I don't know. So what I am going to do is on monday before dessert I will fry up some flour tortillas and sprinkle them with cinnamon sugar and they will be the bowls that we put the ice-cream on. Yay! Fun!

4)Then I have to get ready for work and go to work.

5)Then my best friend and I are going to get Indian food with another of my friends. Yay! I love indian food! We are going to be trying a new place today. We have not been here before. My best friend and I have been going together to two different places. We have been wanting to go to all the ones on the island but we keep on going back to our first one because it is so good and the waiter really liked me and they keep on giving us free stuff. We like the free stuff. But my Indian boyfriend has gone back to Nepal. (Ok I know if you are from Nepal you aren't Indian but he had that name before we found out he was from Nepal) So now we need to find us a new Indian boyfriend. Him moving away has helped us to jump the nest of our favorite indian place and venture out.

So that is going to be my day and we will see if I get though 1-4 before I have to go to work. I have four hours. I think I can do it. Wish me luck! I hope all your days are going to be great.

Then my friend comes out of the house and I walk against the other wall as far away from the dog as possible. I walk toward my friend to give him a hug and the dog jumps out and bites me in the leg!!! I hadn't even gotten near my friend yet cause he was putting on his shoes. I yelled out and it hurt so bad!!!

I told my friend that his dog bit me and all he said was that he was sorry. Then he said, "Well you know he IS just doing his job." What the heck!!! What kind of response was that? Oh well.

I just went in to the party and hung out with some of my friends. My leg was hurting so bad. The dog had even ripped a hole in my jeans! I was so scared to look at my leg. I didn't know what I would see. I was afraid that I would would see red lines going up my legs. But no...there wasn't. There is just a huge bruise and some broken skin and some scratches.

When I got home I got some antiseptic spray and sprayed it on the wound. Then I sprayed it again then again. It didn't sting like i thought it would. So then I looked at the can and it expired in may of 2003. hahaha. Now I have a bag of frozen corn on my leg. I hope that it doesn't swell or get infected.

I was thinking what if I have to get some kind of shot. What if I have to get a rabies shot or a tetanus (is that how you spell it?) I don't think that we have a problem with that here in Hawaii. I think that dogs have to be in quarantine for three months before they can go to their house when they come from the mainland. Supposedly that is to keep rabies from being here. I don't know. Something like that.

My roommate thinks that I should go to the doctors. I hate the doctors. I don't want to go to the doctor. What do you think?

OK here are the reasons I like tBlog. I like that you can make friends and go and keep up with their writings. I like that there is a list on the left side and shows all the titles of the most recently posted blogs. I like the hot blogs. I like that it shows you how many times your blog has been visited.

Here are the reasons I am discouraged about tBlog. Hot blogs seems to not change and some that are on the top half haven't even posted in over two weeks. How do they stay there? I don't think that it is accurate. Also the count on the visits has been the same for me for over a week now and I know that people are coming to my blog because they leave me some comments some times. So why has it not changed. I can't stay at 61262 forever!

Maybe it is time to change. But I am tired and i don't want to go do research and try and figure out which one is the best that is user friendly and has easy access to others blogs and shows you how many hit come to your page. I need those things. haha. Not really but I do.

About a month ago I had a dream that me and all my friends from my house church were at The Beautiful Man's mom's house. It seemed that we were all there preparing for something like a big dinner or something. I didn't see anyone from house church but I knew they were there. I didn't seem to be doing anything which is weird because at times like those I am in charge or actively working.

I go into the "kitchen" where my best friend from back home is cooking something. She has hot pads on her hands and is taking these ceramic dishes of different shapes and sizes out of the really big oven. I am watching her and she looks up at me and tells me not to make dessert. Inside the dishes were what looked like water but with a yellow swirl in it.

Then I go back into the other room and there is so much clutter and nick knacks. I am looking around and there is a terra cotta oil lamp in the shape of a hippo. I am just standing there doing nothing except looking at the lamp and I realize that if I was to turn the lamp upside down it would look exactly the same. So I take it and I turn it over and look at it and then I turn it over again and again and I was just contemplating it. Then TBM and another younger guy comes walking up to where I am and I show them that the hippo is a hippo even upside down. They just looked at me and nodded.

All of a sudden me and TBM are in the car coming back to the house and we were at a stop sign and he says to me, "I wish this light would hurry up and turn green!" I was like me too. It was not weird to me that we were waiting for the light to change even though we were at a stop sign. He is looking out my window and he tells me that when he was a kid that things came at him from the tree just outside my car window. I look at it and I turn to him, grabbed his arm and said, "It's ok! Not any more!" Then we were driving back to the house and pulling up to it and he tells me that he is super stoked that we were fixing up the house and it was nice to cover up all that stuff. "I think before we rent it would we should paint the outside too."

Then we pull into the garage and I get out of the car and there are so many cats all over the place! There were grown up cats and even baby cats the size that can fit in one of my hands. Then I see two cats fighting over a mouse. It was a real mouse but it was dead. They weren't fighting like a real cat fight but more like a tug of war. Then I think that TBM accidentally kicks one as he walks and then the dream ends.

She said that I was in her dream and so was The Beautiful Man. She said that we were all at an event that me and TBM were leading it. She said it was a big event like maybe a youth event. This seems weird to me because thats not me and TBM's style.

Anyways she says we were there and so were other people. I don't know if this is happening in front of all the people or what. It seemed, from the way she described it, that it was not such a private affair. Anyways again, he was telling me that he has grown to have feelings for me.

I told her that that is not happening right now. She agreed that this dream seemed to be in the future tense. She also said she doesn't know if this means anything but it could just be her and the fact that she has been praying for me and TBM. I don't know. I have kinda given up already,

Then she tells me that when she was getting into her car a guy comes up to her and asks her if she works there. She tells him she just got the job. So he asks her when is her day off? Is she busy? Does she like to go to the movies? Does she like to dance on the weekends? She was so flabbergasted and caught off guard she didn't know what to do. But the good thing is she did give him her number and AND he gave her his number. I guess it turns out that he is from Nicaragua and he works at disneyland too. hahaha. I just really hope he is not on Tblog and that he doesn't read my blog.

I reached over and grabbed the eye drops and put a drop on the outside corner. This eye drops is a anti histamine so sometimes it stings a little bit. But this time it stung alot. I felt my eye with my finger and it felt really weird. One thought was that I had somehow turned my eye lid inside out, like the gross boys do in elementary school.

Then I felt something drip on my face. It turns out it was a tear but it didn't feel like it and I thought that my eye was bleeding. So I touched it and yep was a tear. So I thought maybe there was something on the nipple of the drops so I look at it and that was when I realized it was super glue!

I jump up from my bed and start yelling out, "oh my God oh my God!" My roommate lives on the other side of a curtain and she is like, "what?! What?!" I am walking around and around in a circle and now I am saying, "That does not belong there! That does not belong there!" My roommate is yelling at me now trying to figure out what happened and I finally told her.

She jumps straight to action and grabs the glue and reads the instructions for, "Accidental eye contact" I am supposed to run my eye under water for 15 minutes! So I stick my eye under the water and start laughing because I am so ridiculous! I look at my eye and try to start scraping the glue off so I can open my eye and I am successful! But the problem now is that the glue on the inside is scratching my eye ball! So I have to scrap that off too!

My eye site was not damaged and it was just red for the next day. My roommate gave me a lecture on what is eye drops and what is not. I don't think I will make that same mistake again.

My best friend from high school called me today. It was really weird. I was on my way to school and I thought I should call her. But I didn't. Then I was in class and she called me! She left me a message to let me know that she is now pregnant after giving birth 5 months ago.

So I was thinking, after all the excitement about the new baby died down, that alot of my friends are having their babies and my little sisters friends are having babies. I am not anywhere near getting a boyfriend unless some strange miracle happens. I am not that kind of girl that would have a baby on her own. So that means that I would be at least in my 30s before I have a kid. I know thats not old. But I remember that when I was a teenager i thought that by the time I was 25 I would have 3 kids. Well it's been two years since then and I am still single.

It's ok though I love my life and I don't think that I will look back and be disappointed.

This was the first movie in a long time that really made me want to be in love. To love and be loved back. There really has been nothing that made me really want it. My friend's relationships, other movies and everything else that makes people want a relationship just doesn't do it for me. This movie did it for me. I kinda want to see it again. But I think that I will watch it when it gets to the dollar theater.

So I think I will take the next couple posts to write about the past couple dreams that I remember.

The most recent dream was last thursday night. I dreamt that I was a missionary in Saudi Arabia with my friend who we will call The Beautiful Man. We were there and TBM walked up to me and says, "I feel like God wants me to go to Yemen." I say, "Alright." The TBM says, "No, like right now." I said, "Ok then go." So then I watch him from an upstairs room go downstairs and get on his motorcycle and ride off.

Then I go into the next room and there is a man from my work place and he is on his knees and he is praying super hard. Then he gets up and says to me, "I really feel like God wants me to accompany him." So I said, "Alright, he just left and I think you can catch up with him." So I watch him get on his motorcycle with a side car and he rides off too and that is the end of the dream.

During the dream I don't feel like I wish I could have gone. It felt like it was the right thing but I also felt like TBM was coming back. I didn't know when he was going to come back but I knew that he was.

Later I found out that on thursday night TBM started a three day fast to seek God to find out if it was ok with Him if he pursued a girl that he had been hanging out with. It turns out that God told him that he gets to choose.

I wonder what all this means and if it is connected.

I think that will be all for today because I have to work in 6 hours and I still have to go to bed. I think I might make a list of where I want to go.

I went to this place to get prayer for something and we asked God to reveal what the problem was. It came out that I had been committing idolatry!

I had not meant to do it. I did not want it . I hate that I did that.

To me, that is the worst sin to commit. I know all sin is created equal but I think this one is the worst. I mean, God is so amazing and loving and so great. Who could want a better God? Not me. There is no other! There is none that even compares! God says not to have any god above Him. He is a jealous God. He wants to be our one and only. I did it. I had one above Him. I didn't even realize that I was doing it.

I was so crushed when I found out that I had. I was so sorry. I was so sad. There is no other sin that I would rather not commit more than this one. I don't want to commit any sin but especially not this one. But I did. On accident. Yet that doesn't matter because I still had done it.

Do you know what is the most crazy thing? Before I had found out that I had committed this crime against my God, before I had been sorry, BEFORE I had repented do you know what God said to me? He told me that He found no fault in me. None. Before I had turned from my sin He had found me to be at no fault.

Now don't get me wrong. I was still is sin, I had not been perfect, I had put something else above Him; this jealous God of mine. But the best part is that is not how God saw it. He has chosen to write my story. Just like Abraham in Romans 4 says, "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations" If we read the story we will see that he didn't believe, he sinned and conceived a son from someone other than his wife which was not what God told him was going to happen. But God did not see it that way. God decided to write Abraham's story and I believe that He is writing my story too.

God is so amazing. I love Him. I am so glad for forgiveness. I am glad that I can move on from this sin and not live in the past. I am glad that my past does not predict my future. Thank you so much God!